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The Girl Next Door

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes “Marriage Bombshell” is a Dud

Gossip Cop

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have a problem.

Not with each other.

With In Touch.

The tabloid has an annoying habit of making up stuff when it comes to the couple and their daughter, Suri.

Whether it’s fabricating summer camp stories or Halloween costume rumors, In Touch is eager to give readers a fictionalized account of Holmes and Cruise’s private life.

This week, the mag goes big, claiming that an anonymous former Scientologist is shopping a tell-all book (still “not complete”) that supposedly includes “many chapters” on their marriage.

According to In Touch, the book reveals that Holmes “has her own quarters” and sleeps separately from Cruise, and that she can’t have privacy from full-time Scientology handlers.

The staff also has to keep the house spotless to meet “germaphobe Tom’s strict specifications.”

Meanwhile, Cruise and Holmes have a “shockingly large number” of problems, including disagreements over whether to have another kid.

That’s funny, because Holmes was already supposedly “pregnant” last February according to… In Touch.

The article keeps piling on new rumors about the family’s home life (including Holmes’ alleged $1.5 million per year “shopping allowance”) in the hopes that quantity equals accuracy.

It doesn’t.

In Touch’s allegations are “false,” according to a rep for Cruise.

Not surprising, given the magazine’s track record.